A Call to Lane at his Dorm

(Ok, perhaps I exercised a touch of artistic license)

Lane: Yea,  I was just going to call you.

Larry: Really, because I waited all day yesterday for you to call, but nothing. I kept checking my phone every few minutes- no call! I waited up till 1:00 in the morning.

Lane: Your an insomniac- your always up at 1:00am anyway.

Larry: Not the point. You have an iPhone, you don't even have to enter my number, just hit my name, and it calls. What could you have possibly been doing that that takes up so much of your day that you can't find time to call me?

Lane: Reading all the text messages you send me.

Larry: Come on, I sent you maybe four texts yesterday.

Lane: Try eight. 

Larry: Maybe six, but how long could it take to read a few texts?

Lane: Eight, the number was eight. But dad you don't send "Texts" you send essays. My paper for philosophy was shorter than any one of your messages. 

And it's not just the writing it's all the attachments, the links.

Larry: I find something interesting so I share it with you.

Lane: And I appreciate that, it's just, .... well, take Monday, my roommate's mom sent him a picture of their dog, you sent me a link to a 90 minute debate on Evolution VS Creationism.

Larry: Interesting right ?

Lane: Not 90 minutes worth of interesting.

It's not like I don't talk to you guys, I called you the other day, I talked till my phone ran out of power.

Ilene: Lane, Lane, It's mom. Can you hear me? (To herself) I'm not sure he can hear me, Lane?

Lane: Yes mom, I can hear you fine!

Ilene: Do you need another phone charger, I can drive out to Evanston and drop one off?

Lane: No! No, I don't need another charger. I don't need ANYTHING, nothing else will even fit in my room.

Ilene: I'm just making sure you have what you need. How about money, do you need any more money? How are you? How are your classes? Where did you go last night? I don't know what you're up to, you always talk to dad, you never talk to me!

Lane:  You have me on speaker phone, I'm talking to both of you at the same time.

Ilene: It's just I don't talk to you ever, you're texting dad non-stop, but I never hear from you.

Larry:  Ilene, He will answer every 4th text, it's not like we're chatting all day. I barely talk to him at all.

Lane:  Oh my God! let's just say I'm ignoring both of you equally. OK, can we move on?

Larry: Well that's not a very cheery attitude. And why would you ignore us, we love you? 

is there anything you have ever asked us to do we have not done? Anything you need we have..

Lane: Not gotten for me..... Yea, I get that. I'm not ignoring you. I don't go a day without some form of communication with you, that's far more than 95% of my friends do, and they don't SEE their parents once a week.  I just met you for dinner Sunday night!

Ilene: And you were not very social, you hardly talked to Christy. She was in from Phoenix, she my good friend's daughter and you said hi then started talking to dad again, planning something.  You two are always planning something.

Lane: Sorry, she's 15, it was a bit awkward. "Planning with dad?"  NO, I was telling him NOT to plan something. Not to rent a venue to screen my movie, Not to try to find a theater to lease to put on my play, and definitely NOT to buy 24 stage lights and dimmers and a lighting control board to put the play on, I don't where, um,  I'm guessing his office.

Larry: I'm just proud of you, and your work is really well written, so I want people to see it, is there anything wrong with that?

Lane: Yes!  Yes it's a bit over-the-top, like when I said you could video my play at school and you went out and rented a second camera and mic, so you could shoot from two angles, but I appreciate your effort. Both of your efforts. Now can I get back to my work, after all, I'm coming home in five days.

Larry: Ok 

Ilene: Let me know if you need anything.